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So what do you think happens when you pat a twenty-something on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens. And then every day, smart, interesting twenty-somethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time." Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine." But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college."

Let's follow Meg Jay...

So / what do you think happens / when you pat a twenty-something on the head / and you say, / "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? // Nothing happens. // You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, / and absolutely nothing happens. // And then every day, / smart, / interesting twenty-somethings like you / or like your sons / and daughters / come into my office and say things like this: // "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, / but this relationship doesn't count. // I'm just killing time." // Or they say, / "Everybody says / as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, / I'll be fine." // But then / it starts to sound like this: // "My 20s are almost over, / and I have nothing to show for myself. // I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college." //

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And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30." Where are the twenty-somethings here? Do not do that. Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirty-something pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.

Let's follow Meg Jay...

And then/ it starts to sound like this: // "My 20s are almost over, / and I have nothing to show for myself. // I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college." // And then / it starts to sound like this: // "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. // Everybody was running around / and having fun, / but then sometime around 30 / it was like the music turned off / and everybody started sitting down. // I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, / so sometimes / I think / I married my husband / because he was the closest chair to me at 30." // Where are the twenty-somethings here? // Do not do that. // Okay, / now that sounds a little flip, / but make no mistake, / the stakes are very high. // When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, / there is enormous thirty-something pressure / to jump-start a career, / pick a city, / partner up, / and have two / or three kids / in a much shorter period of time. // Many of these things / are incompatible, / and as research is just starting to show, / simply harder / and more stressful to do all at once / in our 30s. //