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Now, the reason this topic, exploring how calling work our family can be problematic and breed burnout, the reason it's important to me is because I've personally lived it. Before we get into that though, let's first baseline by understanding why calling work our family at its core can be problematic. Doing so psychologically infers a really big blur and betrayal in our boundaries. Work and family are different entities with different goals, expectations, and responsibilities. And therefore, should be separated and boundaried. For example, I'm not going to be in the shower one day and notice a really weird mole on my pregnant belly and roll into my boss's office like I would my mom and be like, hey, can you... can you get in here and look at this? This looks kind of weird. I'm freaked out. A few of us are giggling or laughing, but I'm sure a few of us too in our heads are like, "Oh, have I done something weird like that at work? Have I crossed a boundary before?" Boundaries are hard for a lot of us because many of us never learned boundaries. It's kind of a newer buzzy phrase that not many of us really have learned or defined before. So let's start by defining what boundaries are and why they're so important to our mental health.

Let's follow Gloria Chan Packer...

Now, / the reason this topic, / exploring how calling work our family can be problematic and breed burnout, / the reason it's important to me is because I've personally lived it. // Before we get into that though, / let's first baseline by understanding why calling work our family / at its core can be problematic. // Doing so / psychologically infers a really big blur and betrayal in our boundaries. // Work and family are different entities with different goals, / expectations, / and responsibilities. / And therefore, / should be separated and boundaried. // For example, / I'm not going to be in the shower one day and / notice a really weird mole on my pregnant belly and / roll into my boss's office like I would my mom and be like, "Hey, / can you... can you get in here and look at this? // This looks kind of weird. // I'm freaked out." // A few of us are giggling or laughing, but I'm sure a few of us too / in our heads are like, / "Oh, have I done something weird like that at work? // Have I crossed a boundary before?" // Boundaries are hard for a lot of us because many of us never learned boundaries. // It's kind of a newer / buzzy phrase that / not many of us really have learned or defined before. // So let's start by defining what boundaries are / and why they're so important to our mental health. //

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I like to think of boundaries as our ability to identify, communicate, and take action on our needs. Being able to say, I need to eat, I need to rest, I need some space right now. Survivally speaking, boundaries are critical for us as humans to be able to say, I need something, to be able to find safety and resourcing. However, it can also be advantageous in certain situations to delay or deprioritize our needs too. For example, if I'm a human back in the day running away from a tiger, if I happen to be hungry, it'll of course be beneficial to delay that need for hunger until I'm safe again. However, if after the tiger has left and I'm safe, I keep staying stuck and being scared of the tiger and delaying my hunger and not eating, that becomes unhealthy too. This shift of delaying our needs into the unhealthy without knowing it is where a lot of us find ourselves unknowingly stuck today. Somewhere in our lives, we learned and adapted that repressing or sacrificing our needs for others was beneficial, but that became so autopiloted in our subconscious that it goes past the point of diminishing returns and becomes unhealthy. To where maybe we land into a workplace and we hear we're like family and our brain just triggers into give it everything no matter what. We sacrifice our boundaries, our time, our relationships, and we start living life in these big swings of overworking to burnout. And maybe we rationally know that it's not the healthiest pattern in our life, but we feel stuck.

Let's follow Gloria Chan Packer...

I like to think of boundaries as our ability to identify, / communicate, / and take action on our needs. // Being able to say, / I need to eat, / I need to rest, / I need some space right now. // Survivally speaking, / boundaries are critical / for us as humans to be able to say, / I need something, / to be able to find safety and resourcing. // However, / it can also be advantageous in certain situations to delay or deprioritize our needs too. // For example, / if I'm a human back in the day running away from a tiger, / if I happen to be hungry, / it'll / of course be beneficial to delay that need for hunger until / I'm safe again. // However, / if / after the tiger has left / and I'm safe, / I keep staying stuck / and being scared of the tiger / and delaying my hunger and not eating, / that becomes unhealthy too. // This shift / of delaying our needs into the unhealthy without knowing it / is where a lot of us find ourselves unknowingly stuck today. // Somewhere in our lives, / we learned and adapted that repressing or sacrificing our needs for others / was beneficial, / but that became so autopiloted in our subconscious / that it goes past the point of diminishing returns and becomes unhealthy. // To where maybe we land into a workplace and we hear we're like family / and our brain just triggers into / give it everything no matter what. // We sacrifice our boundaries, / our time, / our relationships, / and we start living life in these big swings of overworking to burnout. // And maybe we rationally know that it's not the healthiest pattern in our life, / but we feel stuck. //