Let's read...

Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well, because, when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging, they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection. So very quickly -- really about six weeks into this research -- I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen. And so I pulled back out of the research and thought, I need to figure out what this is. And it turned out to be shame.

Let's follow Brené Brown...

Well, / apparently / this is the way my work went as well, / because, / when you ask people about love, / they tell you about heartbreak. // When you ask people about belonging, / they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. // And when you ask people about connection, / the stories they told me were about disconnection. // So / very quickly / -- really about six weeks into this research // -- I ran into this unnamed thing / that absolutely unraveled connection / in a way that I didn't understand / or had never seen. // And so / I pulled back out of the research and thought, / I need to figure out what this is. // And it turned out to be shame.

Let's read...

And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection? The things I can tell you about it: It's universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which, we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability. This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.

Let's follow Brené Brown...

And shame / is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: // Is there something about me that, / if other people know it or see it, / that I won't be worthy of connection? //