Paranoia / is caused by people that I call "takers." // Takers / are self-serving in their interactions. // It's all about what can you do for me. / The opposite is a giver. // It's somebody who approaches most interactions by asking, / "What can I do for you?" // and I wanted to give you a chance to think about your own style. // We all have moments of giving / and taking. // Your style / is just how you treat most of the people most of the time, / your default. // So I have a short test you can take / to figure out if you're more of a giver or a taker, / and you can take it right now. // This is the only thing I will say today / that has no data behind it, / but I am convinced / the longer it takes for you to laugh at this cartoon, / the more worried we should be / that you're a taker. // Of course, / not all takers are narcissists. // Some are just givers / who got burned one too many times. // And then there's another kind of taker / that we won't be addressing today, / and that's called a psychopath. // I was curious, / though, / about how common these extremes are, / and so I surveyed over 30,000 people across industries / around the world's cultures. // And I found that / most people are right in the middle between giving / and taking. // They choose this third style called / "matching." // If you're a matcher, / you try to keep an even balance of give / and take: // quid pro quo / -- I'll do something for you / if you do something for me. // And that seems like a safe way to live your life. // But / is it the most effective / and productive way to live your life? // The answer to that question is a very definitive // ... maybe.