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We think of success as a final destination, but it’s not. We think once we’ve achieved it, we’ve arrived, but we haven’t. We think once there it’s easy money, smooth sailing, but it’s not because Wonderhell teaches us that success is not a final destination at all, but merely an inflection point along the way. So once I realized I wasn’t at the end of my journey, but merely in the middle, I set about to do some homework. I read all the books. I read the books telling me to crush it, to lean in, and to 10x. And I read their polar opposites, the ones telling me to stop apologizing and wash my face. And what was on offer on social media was not much better. There were the slicked-back bros, the hustle porn dudes jetting off the internet deal, yeah. And then there were the boho chic instafluencers telling me to follow my passion, telling me I’d find happiness if only I’d breathe into the right energy crystals. What even is an energy crystal, anyway? Neither of these worked for me. I'm guessing neither of these work for you either. They didn’t work for thousands of leaders whom I stewarded through massive moments of career and life shift during those 20 years in executive search. And they certainly didn’t work for nearly 100 glass-ceiling shatterers, Olympic medalists, start-up unicorns, and everyday people like me and like you, who I sought out to interview to find a way out of Wonderhell. Each one of them told me how they did things they never thought possible. And each one of them also told me that, at every phase and at every stage, they experienced crushing imposter syndrome, doubt, vulnerability, uncertainty, envy, exhaustion, and burnout. But each one of them made it to the other side and the better for it. So, how did they do it?

Let's follow Laura Gassner Otting...

We think of success as a final destination, / but it’s not. // We think once / we’ve achieved it, we’ve arrived, /but we haven’t. // We think once there it’s easy money, smooth sailing, but it’s not / because Wonderhell / teaches us / that success is not a final destination at all, / but merely an inflection point / along the way. // So once I realized I wasn’t at the end of my journey, but merely in the middle, / I set about to do some homework. // I read all the books. // I read the books telling me to crush it, / to lean in, / and to 10x. // And I read their polar opposites, / the ones telling me to stop apologizing and wash my face. // And what was on offer on social media was not / much better. // There were the slicked-back bros, / the hustle porn dudes / jetting off the internet deal, / yeah. // And then there were the boho chic instafluencers / telling me to follow my passion, / telling me I’d find happiness if only I’d breathe into the right energy crystals. // What even is an energy crystal, / anyway? // Neither of these worked for me. // I'm guessing neither of these work / for you / either. // They didn’t work for thousands of leaders whom I stewarded through massive moments of career and life shift during those 20 years in executive search. // And they certainly didn’t work for nearly 100 glass-ceiling shatterers, / Olympic medalists, / start-up unicorns, / and everyday people like me / and like you, who I sought out / to interview to find a way out / of Wonderhell. // Each one of them told me / how / they did things they never thought possible. // And each one of them also told me / that, at every phase / and at every stage, / they experienced crushing imposter syndrome, / doubt, / vulnerability, / uncertainty, / envy, / exhaustion, / and burnout. // But each one of them / made it to the other side / and the better for it. // So, / how did they do it? //

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Three ways: First, they came to terms with their ambition. Do you know why internal candidates always leave if they don’t get the job? It’s because the very process of interviewing for that bigger job means that they literally had to, even just for a moment, answer questions in that role, speak in the voice of that role, wear the clothes of that role, and once they saw part of themselves in this new way, they couldn't unsee themselves in this new way. And just like these internal candidates, you can’t unsee this new you either. Each time we envision success, even before we achieve it, we see a version of ourselves we never thought real, a potential. We never thought possible, a promise of everything we can be and all that we can embody. There is the you before this realization, and then there is the you after. Second, the mixed emotions surrounding this realization - the good, the bad, and the ugly. They aren’t limitations but invitations. For each of the people I spoke to who had a track record of thriving in Wonderhell, they understood that these uncomfortable feelings weren’t just part of the process. They were actually incredibly helpful allies. So, they’re able to stop, reflect on these emotions, listen to these emotions, renegotiate the relationship with these emotions, because we think about these chaotic reactions as slings and arrows to be absorbed in silence and pushed down and muscled through, but that’s a lie. And that lie is stopping us from capitalizing on our Wonderhell, because Wonderhell is the excitement and the fear. It’s the joy and the uncertainty. It's the possibility and the chaos. And it is the promise and the potential that you feel when you see this new you, and you realize the only one who gets to choose which you, you become is, well, you. And that means changing the voice inside your head, warning, “You haven’t done this before!” and warning you to run away from your potential into a cheerleader, yelling, “You haven’t done this before!” and encouraging you to run towards it. Wonderhell is the sign that you were on the right track to new opportunity and new growth.

Let's follow Laura Gassner Otting...

Three ways: // First, / they came to terms with their ambition. // Do you know why internal candidates always leave if they don’t get the job? // It’s because the very process of interviewing / for that bigger job / means that they literally had to, even just for a moment, / answer questions in that role, / speak in the voice of that role, / wear the clothes of that role, / and once they saw part of themselves in this new way, / they couldn't / unsee themselves / in this new way. // And just like these internal candidates, / you can’t unsee this new you / either. // Each time we envision success, even before we achieve it, / we see a version of ourselves we never thought real, a potential. // We never thought possible, a promise / of everything we can be / and all that we can embody. // There is the you / before this realization, / and then there is the you / after. // Second, / the mixed emotions surrounding this realization / - the good, / the bad, / and the ugly. // They aren’t limitations / but invitations. // For each of the people I spoke to who had a track record of thriving in Wonderhell, / they understood that these / uncomfortable feelings weren’t just part of the process. // They were actually incredibly / helpful allies. // So, / they’re able to stop, / reflect on these emotions, / listen to these emotions, / renegotiate the relationship with these emotions, / because we think about these chaotic reactions / as slings and arrows to be absorbed in silence and pushed down and muscled through, but / that’s a lie. // And that lie / is stopping us / from capitalizing on our Wonderhell, / because Wonderhell is / the excitement / and the fear. // It’s the joy / and the uncertainty. // It's the possibility / and the chaos. // And it is the promise and the potential / that you feel when you see this new you, / and you realize the only one who gets to choose which you, / you become is, / well, / you. // And that means changing the voice inside your head, warning, / “You haven’t done this before!” / and warning you to run away from your potential / into a cheerleader, / yelling, / “You haven’t done this / before!” / and encouraging you to run / towards it. // Wonderhell is the sign that you were on the right track / to new opportunity / and new growth. //