[C+] Are you a giver or a taker? [PRACTICE]

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Paranoia

[ par-uh-'noi-uh ]

noun

- an extreme and unreasonable feeling that other people do not like you or are going to harm or criticize you:

Long-term sleep deprivation can lead to paranoia, delusion and hallucinations.

narcissist

[ 'nahr-suh-sist ]

noun

- someone who has too much admiration for himself or herself;

Don't get caught in the trap of always trying to please a narcissist.

psychopath

[ 'sahy-kuh-path]

noun

- a person who has no feeling for other people, does not think about the future, and does not feel bad about anything they have done in the past

Diagnosing him as a psychopath was not a simple matter.

quid pro quo

[ 'kwid-proh-'kwoh ]

noun

- something that is given or received in return for something else:

The government has promised food aid as a quid pro quo for the stopping of violence.

get burned

phrase

- to be scammed, swindled, or ripped off (by someone).

I once had my identity stolen by someone posing as a bank manager on the phone. I'm never getting burned like that again!

LET'S TRY IT IN SECONDS!

FIRST CUT ⏱ 00:31 – 0:59

Let's read...

Let's follow Adam...

Paranoia / is caused by people that I call "takers." // Takers / are self-serving in their interactions. // It's all about what can you do for me. // The opposite is a giver. // It's somebody who approaches most interactions by asking, / "What can I do for you?" // and I wanted to give you a chance to think about your own style. // We all have moments of giving / and taking. // Your style / is just how you treat most of the people most of the time, / your default. // So I have a short test you can take / to figure out if you're more of a giver or a taker, / and you can take it right now. //

SECOND CUT ⏱ 1:09 – 2:02

Let's read...

This is the only thing I will say today that has no data behind it, but I am convinced the longer it takes for you to laugh at this cartoon, the more worried we should be that you're a taker. Of course, not all takers are narcissists. Some are just givers who got burned one too many times. And then there's another kind of taker that we won't be addressing today, and that's called a psychopath. I was curious, though, about how common these extremes are, and so I surveyed over 30,000 people across industries around the world's cultures. And I found that most people are right in the middle between giving and taking. They choose this third style called "matching." If you're a matcher, you try to keep an even balance of give and take: quid pro quo -- I'll do something for you if you do something for me. And that seems like a safe way to live your life. But is it the most effective and productive way to live your life? The answer to that question is a very definitive ... maybe.

Let's follow Adam...

This is the only thing I will say today / that has no data behind it, / but I am convinced / the longer it takes for you to laugh at this cartoon, / the more worried we should be / that you're a taker. // Of course, / not all takers are narcissists. // Some are just givers / who got burned one too many times. // And then there's another kind of taker / that we won't be addressing today, / and that's called a psychopath. // I was curious, / though, / about how common these extremes are, / and so I surveyed over 30,000 people across industries / around the world's cultures. // And I found that / most people are right in the middle between giving / and taking. // They choose this third style called / "matching." // If you're a matcher, / you try to keep an even balance of give / and take: // quid pro quo / -- I'll do something for you / if you do something for me. // And that seems like a safe way to live your life. // But / is it the most effective / and productive way to live your life? // The answer to that question is a very definitive // ... maybe. //