So / what do you think happens / when you pat a twenty-something on the head / and you say, / "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? // Nothing happens. // You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, / and absolutely nothing happens. // And then every day, / smart, / interesting twenty-somethings like you / or like your sons / and daughters / come into my office and say things like this: // "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, / but this relationship doesn't count. // I'm just killing time." // Or they say, / "Everybody says / as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, / I'll be fine." // But then/ it starts to sound like this: // "My 20s are almost over, / and I have nothing to show for myself. // I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college." // And then / it starts to sound like this: // "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. // Everybody was running around / and having fun, / but then sometime around 30 / it was like the music turned off / and everybody started sitting down. // I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, / so sometimes / I think / I married my husband / because he was the closest chair to me at 30." // Where are the twenty-somethings here? // Do not do that. // Okay, / now that sounds a little flip, / but make no mistake, / the stakes are very high. // When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, / there is enormous thirty-something pressure / to jump-start a career, / pick a city, / partner up, / and have two / or three kids / in a much shorter period of time. // Many of these things / are incompatible, / and as research is just starting to show, / simply harder / and more stressful to do all at once / in our 30s. //