When I heard / of some of these / more ludicrous offenses / and charges, / I remembered that I had been here before / in a fictional context. // I once did a show / called Not the Nine O'Clock News, / some years ago, / and we did a sketch where / Griff Rhys-Jones / played Constable Savage, / a manifestly / racist / police officer / to whom I, as his station commander, / is giving a dressing down / for arresting a black man / on a whole string of ridiculous, / trumped up / and ludicrous charges. // The charges for which Constable Savage arrested Mr. Winston Kodogo of 55 Mercer Road were these: / 'Walking / on the cracks / in the pavement.' // 'Walking / in a loud shirt / in a built-up area / during the hours of darkness' / and one of my favorites / 'Walking around / all over the place.' // He was also arrested for 'Urinating / in a public convenience' / and / 'Looking at me' / in a funny way. // Who would have thought / that we would end up with a law that would allow life / to imitate art / so exactly. // I read somewhere, / a defender of the status quo claiming that the fact / that the gay horse case / was dropped / after / the arrested man refused to pay the fine / and that the Scientology case / was also dropped / at some point / during the court process / was proof / that the law / was working well, / ignoring / the fact / that the only reason / these cases were dropped / was because of the publicity / that they had attracted. // The Police sensed / that ridicule / was just around the corner / and withdrew / their actions. // But what about / the thousands / of other cases / that did not / enjoy the oxygen / of publicity? // That weren't quite ludicrous enough / to attract media attention? // Even for those actions / that were withdrawn, / people were arrested, / questioned, / taken to court / and then released. // That isn't a law / working properly: / that is censoriousness / of the most intimidating kind, / guaranteed to have, / as Lord Dear says, / a 'chilling effect' / on free expression / and free protest. // Parliament's / Joint committee on Human Rights / summarized, as you may know, this whole issue very well / by saying / 'While arresting a protestor for using threatening / or abusive speech may, / depending on the circumstances, / be a proportionate response, / we do not think / that language or behavior / that is merely insulting / should ever be criminalized in this way.' //