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So for a lot of my 5-year college career, I was lost. Like, actually lost. Santa Cruz is mostly woods; you make one wrong turn and you're gone for days. But, I didn't know who I was or what I was going to do with my life when I finished college. I wasn't any clearer about my direction than the day I graduated high school. I wore Birkenstocks and I smelled like a patchouli fart. I'm only willing to admit that now that Birkenstocks are sold at Urban Outfitters. And then during senior year my father asked me what I planned to do after I graduated. And I told him “I want to be on Saturday Night Live.” That's true. But it wasn't until that moment I never wanted to admit that being on SNL was my dream. I never wanted to admit that I was a Thespian.

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So for / a lot of my / 5-year college career, / I was lost. // Like, actually lost. // Santa Cruz is mostly woods; / you make one wrong turn / and you're gone for days. // But, / I didn't know who I was / or what I was going to do with my life when I finished college. // I wasn't any clearer about my direction / than the day I graduated high school. // I wore Birkenstocks / and I smelled like a patchouli fart. // I'm only willing to admit that now that Birkenstocks are sold / at Urban Outfitters. And then / during senior year / my father asked me what I planned to do after I graduated. / And I told him / “I want to be on Saturday Night Live.” // That's true. // But it wasn't until that moment / I / never wanted to admit / that being on SNL was my dream. // I never wanted / to admit / that I was a Thespian. //

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And this was back in the days when people weren't talking about being thespians. It was before Thespians could marry. And my Dad did what any great teacher would do — he looked at me unfazed and said, “Great." And how do you plan to support yourself while you figure that out? And when are you going to wash your feet?” He was realistic, supportive, deflected the responsibility back to me and subtly showed his support for his daughters' pursuit of a long life in Fart Jokes. So I did what many of you will probably do — I enrolled in more college and asked my Dad to pay for it. At the Groundlings Theater in Los Angeles, I studied Improvisation. And in Improvisation there is one hard and fast rule, and that rule is known as “Yes And”. The term YES AND: to say yes, and not just yes, but to add information. So, in the adding of information, you don't negate the other persons idea – but in fact, you build on it.

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And this was back / in the days when people weren't talking about being thespians. // It was before Thespians / could marry. // And my Dad did what any great teacher would do / — he looked at me / unfazed / and said, / “Great." // And how do you plan / to support yourself while you figure that out? // And when are you going to wash your feet?” // He was realistic, / supportive, / deflected the responsibility back to me / and subtly showed his support / for his daughters' pursuit / of a long life / in Fart Jokes. // So / I did what many of you will probably do / — I enrolled in more college / and asked my Dad / to pay for it. // At the Groundlings Theater in Los Angeles, / I studied Improvisation. // And / in Improvisation / there is one hard / and fast rule, / and that rule / is known as / “Yes And”. // The term YES AND: / to say yes, / and not just yes, / but to add / information. // So, in the adding of information, / you don't / negate the other persons idea / – but in fact, / you build on it. //