First, gossip. / Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. / Not a nice habit, / and we know perfectly well / the person gossiping, / five minutes later, / will be gossiping about us. // Second, judging. / We know people who are like this in conversation, / and it's very hard to listen to somebody / if you know that you're being judged / and found wanting at the same time. // Third, negativity. / You can fall into this. // My mother, in the last years of her life, / became very negative, / and it's hard to listen. // I remember one day, / I said to her, / "It's October 1 today," / and she said, / "I know, isn't it dreadful?" // It's hard to listen / when somebody's that negative. // And another form of negativity, / complaining. // Well, this is the national art of the U.K. // It's our national sport. // We complain about the weather, / sport, / about politics, / about everything, / but actually, / complaining is viral misery. // It's not spreading sunshine / and lightness in the world. // Excuses. / We've all met this guy. // Maybe we've all been this guy. // Some people have a blamethrower. // They just pass it on to everybody else / and don't take responsibility for their actions, / and again, / hard to listen to somebody / who is being like that. // Penultimate, / the sixth of the seven, / embroidery, / exaggeration. // It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. // For example, / if I see something that really is awesome, / what do I call it? // And then, of course, / this exaggeration becomes lying, / and we don't want to listen to people / we know are lying to us. // And finally, / dogmatism. // The confusion of facts with opinions. // When those two things get conflated, / you're listening into the wind. // You know, / somebody is bombarding you with their opinions / as if they were true. // It's difficult to listen to that. // So here they are, / seven deadly sins of speaking. // These are things / I think we need to avoid. // But is there a positive way to think about this? // Yes, there is. // I'd like to suggest / that there are four really powerful cornerstones, / foundations, / that we can stand on / if we want our speech to be powerful / and to make change in the world. // Fortunately, / these things spell a word. // The word is "hail," / and it has a great definition as well. // I'm not talking about the stuff / that falls from the sky / and hits you on the head. // I'm talking about this definition, / to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, / which is how I think our words will be received / if we stand on these four things. // So what do they stand for? // See if you can guess. // The H, / honesty, of course, / being true in what you say, / being straight and clear. // The A is authenticity, / just being yourself. // A friend of mine described it / as standing in your own truth, / which I think is a lovely way to put it. // The I is integrity, / being your word, / actually doing what you say, / and being somebody people can trust. // And the L is love. // I don't mean romantic love, / but I do mean wishing people well, / for two reasons. // First of all, / I think absolute honesty may not be what we want. // I mean, / my goodness, / you look ugly this morning. // Perhaps that's not necessary. // Tempered with love, / of course, / honesty is a great thing. // But also, / if you're really wishing somebody well, / it's very hard to judge them at the same time. // I'm not even sure / you can do those two things simultaneously. // So hail.