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So we've learned several big lessons about relationships, about good relationships. One of them is that childhood experience really does matter. What happens to us in childhood sets the stage for what we come to expect from the world. That's often a good thing if we are raised by people who are warm and caring and reliable. But some people are raised in environments where they feel like the people who are supposed to take care of them aren't trustworthy, can't be relied upon, and so many of those people come into adulthood with the expectation that the world is not a safe place. Well, it turns out our study shows adult experience can correct for some of those unfortunate lessons that people learn in childhood. Becoming connected with a good partner, with good friends who you can count on can go a long way to change those gloomy expectations about the world and about relationships.

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So we've learned / several / big lessons / about / relationships, / about good relationships. // One of them / is that / childhood experience really does matter. // What happens / to us / in childhood / sets the stage / for what we come to expect / from the world. // That's often a good thing / if / we are / raised by / people who are / warm / and caring / and reliable. // But / some people / are raised in environments / where / they feel like / the people who are supposed to take care of them / aren't trustworthy, / can't be / relied upon, / and so / many of those people / come into adulthood / with / the expectation / that the world / is not a safe place. // Well, / it turns out / our study shows / adult experience can correct / for / some of those / unfortunate lessons / that / people learn in childhood. // Becoming connected / with a good partner, / with good friends / who you can count on / can go a long way / to change / those gloomy expectations / about the world / and about relationships. //

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Another lesson that we learned is that all relationships that are important have some disagreements or some difficulties. Actually, facing those difficulties goes a long way to strengthen relationships much of the time. It's normal to have disagreements, it's normal to have difficulties, and the more skills we can develop in working through difficulties, the better our social worlds are. And finally, one of the biggest lessons is that our connections with other people help us weather the hard times of life- and hard times are there in every life. Our original participants were born during the Great Depression and many were of an age to go and serve in World War II. And when we asked them, "How did you get through these really difficult times?" All of them, to a person, talked about their relationships. "Our neighbors shared what little we had during the depression. My fellow soldiers in the trenches were the people who kept me going. The letters that came to me from back home while I was overseas in the war were what sustained me." And so what we find is that these connections turn out to be the best protection against the difficult times that are always coming our way.

Let's follow Robert...

Another lesson / that we learned / is / that / all relationships / that are important / have some disagreements / or some difficulties. // Actually, / facing / those difficulties / goes a long way / to strengthen relationships / much of the time. // It's normal / to have disagreements, / it's normal / to have difficulties, / and / the more skill / we can develop / in working / through difficulties, / the better / our social / worlds are. // And finally, / one of the biggest lessons / is that / our connections with other people / help us weather / the hard times / of life- / and hard times are there / in every life. // Our original participants / were born / during the Great / Depression / and many were / of an age to go / and serve in / World War II. // And when / we asked them, / "How did you / get through / these really difficult times?" // All of them, / to a person, / talked about / their relationships. // "Our neighbors / shared / what little we had / during the depression. // My fellow soldiers / in the trenches / were the people / who kept me going. // The letters / that came to me / from back home / while I was overseas / in the war / were / what sustained me." // And so / what we find / is that / these connections / turn out / to be / the best protection / against the difficult times / that are always coming our way. //